“Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown.”

So this is kind of similar to my last entry. I guess I just never thought that much about growing and moving on until the past month when I realized growth and moving on is what I need.

The past 2 days I have been cleaning my room out at my moms house so I can stay with her until I head to Austin. When I first realized the task at hand I was just annoyed with having to clean. Then, I started throwing out my clothes,(and reminiscing about how thin I was) going through old boxes with pictures and frames, notes from middle school, etc. Ahh tear. I may or may not have had a slight breakdown. Growth and moving on, here I come!

How did I end up here?

My alarm went off this morning at the same time it does every Monday-Friday. I rolled over and turned on the snooze, like I do at the same time every Monday-Friday. I finally roll out of bed, grab my towel and head to the shower. I put on my makeup, do my hair, go to the kitchen to grab breakfast then realize due to the pushing of the snooze button, I have no time for breakfast. It's the same thing 5 days of the week. Drive to work, park in the same spot, unlock office door, log into computer, check emails, go make tea...blah blah blah. It's like time only exists in this routine I have now. How did I get here?

When I graduated highschool my plan was to work in fashion and move to New York City. When did that plan go off track? I guess maybe when I left the University of Arkansas to move back to Dallas. Or maybe when I went I started at UNT and changed my major to family studies. What made me want to change my major away from fashion? I HAVE NO IDEA. Now I have my license as an esthetician and I'm doing nothing with it. I work in a office as an assistant. What happened to my plan? Who knows.

I am not unhappy with my life, but I am unsatisfied with how it has turned out so far...I pictured myself doing great things and making a difference. Instead, I'm sitting here thinking about how to change my life in order for me to be satisfied.

I guess you could say I am a person who gets bored easily. That is probably my problem. I have too much I want to accomplish, and I got stuck trying to figure out how to do everything. Now, how to get unstuck? Hopefully my eventual move to Austin will help. Who knows. Will I always be unsatisfied?

Oh where did all the time go?